TY-POON

It is in my nature to be interested by freak natural phenomenon. Probably because of my university background and the interest I’ve always had for anything remotely resembling a natural disaster. I remember freaking my friends out when I told them I couldn’t wait for my first earthquake. Just when they thought I couldn’t be stranger, I go and tell them I would enjoy having survive to a ‘Big One’. One where I could help with the rescue of my poor neighbors trapped under the rubble. And then they would give me the keys to the city, and then I would go on the Today show and marry Carmen Electra. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Anyways, we are indeed in typhoon season now and the typhoon number 11 (Goldorak or Morrdakk or some stupid name) promised to be a big one. The TV people kept talking about it, my teachers were talking about it. I started to get pretty excited!

‘Man, a typhoon! And they say it will come in around Sendai… And I live near the coast! Yes!!!’

My excitement only got better when I got an e-mail from the Canadian embassy telling me to be careful, to stay away from coastlines and to expect pouring rain and high winds and to watch out for landslides… YEAH! Kickass, a landslide! I wasn’t asking for so much!

It started raining at like 2 pm. When I left school at 5, they told me to be careful and that they might call me if the typhoon makes too much damage and that I might have to come in later than usual.

‘My oh my!! This all sounds like a great time… I can’t wait!’

So I told my friends I’d be on my balcony looking at the spectacle, waiting for the disaster to happen! Well at 10 pm I got bored, it was just steady raining since the afternoon. I went to bed and woke up at every hour, on the hour to maybe witness the end of the world. At 2 am, it wasn’t even raining no more. What a load of bullshit. Woke up at 6, everything was… normal. I went to school under the sun and asked my teacher (Mr. Shoji):

‘Hey, what the hell happened with that typhoon?’

His answer:

‘It went away’

AWAY???!!! What the fuck man? It’s not a stray cat. It’s not a cold sore. It doesn’t just GO AWAY!

‘It flew away’, he repeated.

Well I’ll be damned, I guess that in Japan, a typhoon is just a weird bird or something. After the FIASCO that was the solar eclipse, I get screwed over with a typhoon now. Bring on the earthquakes, because last time I checked, I still wasn’t married to Carmen Electra.

Omiyage

So this week, I have decided to tell you (read: rant) a little about a Japanese custom which is both painfully annoying and expensive but at the same time, it represents well what Japan and the Japanese are: Omi-fucking-yage.
Omiyage is the art of gift-giving. It is the worst scam since Valentine's day and Halloween. I wouldn't be surprised if Nestlé is somehow behind this.

When I arrived from Canada, I gave maple flavoured whiskey (40$) to a guy I haven’t seen since, who is now retired. Just 5 minutes ago, I gave 20 dollars worth of cookies to my co-workers because last weekend, I went snowboarding an hour away from here, in another prefecture. So because I ‘travelled’ I had to buy 2 packs (38 staff members and teachers at my present school) of waffled cookies in a nice little individual wrapping, to show them that I appreciate them and that (even if I never really was thinking about work) I was still thinking about them enough to dish out 20 bucks for them. I could have bought a lot of beer, a lot of electricity to make my apartment warmer but noooo, I have to bring back cookies for my co-workers. So in addition to the 120$ I spent in Canada for the various important people I met when I first got here, I have spent another 150$ on gifts from Tokyo, Yamagata-Zao, Zao, Naruko, Nikko and next week, I will buy some more from Sapporo because I am going to the snow festival up there.

How many times have I received omiyage? Maybe 4 times, some random energy drink that tastes like cherries and some shitty mochi... COME ON!
Oh and that’s not all, every time someone invites me for dinner to their house, I have to bring something, so yesterday, I brought 15$ worth of chocolate to a man who has diabetes (and no teeth). He invited me and Daniel to his house because he is the host father of the Australian kid at my school. So according to my calculations, at the end of those two years, I will have spent 600$ on cookies and chocolate because I get to travel because I don’t have a wife and because I’M NOT A PSYCHOPATH WHO WILL SHOW UP AT 6AM ON A SATURDAY MORNING FOR KENDO PRACTICE!!! I’m sorry, I’d rather go snowboarding... and buy cookies to tell you I’m sorry.

P.S.: I still love you Japan, you just piss me off sometimes... xoxox

Choc culturel

Ils m'avaient pourtant prevenu, le choc culturel peut etre a la fois tres agreable et tres desagreable... La, j'ai comme frappe un mur:
Je reviens d'un 3 jours d'orientation dans un trou perdu ou l'on nous obligeait a etre couche a 23 h. Je me suis fait une entorse a la cheville la premiere journee en jouant au soccer (saoul + nu pieds dans un gym = desastre). Je commence a etre pas mal frustre de ne pas avoir Internet a la maison. J'ai le gout d'appeler Ben, Jee, Ida, la gang sur Viau et Mers, d'aller jouer au poker et d'aller au Saint-Sulpice. Composer le 514-830-1047 n'est apparemment pas une option. Je suis tellement tight avec mes amis, partir a 10 095 kilometres de chez moi ne semble pas logique. Me faire servir du poisson pour dejeuner, ca non plus ca n'a pas aide! Les premieres fois ou l'on me parlait et je ne comprenais rien, c'etait drole. La, c'est un peu chiant...

Faut avouer que j'ai fait le con. Je savais que j'allais me detruire la cheville. Avec la consequence que j'allais passer 2 jours a marcher comme un idiot et a mettre de la glace et a regarder mes compagnons se faire du fun pendant que je souffre. En plus, j'ecoute des chansons qui me font penser a des gens qui sont loin:　http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNnLN1JaLI　(Je ne vous dirai tout de meme pas a qui ca me fait penser, faut le deduire)

Anyway, ca va passer. Vous me connaisez, un moral de fer. Je vais aller a la plage. Je vais aller magasiner et me saouler avec mes Anglaises. C'est agreable, j'ai toujours eu un faible pour les accents. Faut pas s'en faire, j'ai un support group! lol
Mais n'hesitez pas a m'envoyer des mots d'encouragement!
A bientot!

PY



Ps: faire des emeutes proche de chez ma maman et de chez ma tante, c'est pas cool. Vraiment.Pps: Canada + Olympique = honte sur ma tete







They told me 48 times about the steps of culture shock. I'm now in the step where you feel a bit down. Here's all the reasons why:

I just got back from a 3 day orientation in the middle of nowhere where we had a 11pm curfew (26 years old and a curfew, how lame). On the first day, I sprained my ankle (PY drunk + barefoot soccer in a gym = recipe for disaster). I'm starting to be pissed off about not having Internet at home. I feel like calling Ida and my friends but it's not an option. I'm so close to my friends that going 10 095 km away from home seems quite illogical. Getting served fish in the morning at the orientation didn't help either. The first times people talked to me and I didn't understand anything was funny, now it's just aggravating.

I'm not helping myself either. I know I have weak ankles. I knew I was going to get hurt and that I would be limping and icing myself while people are having fun. But after 6 tall Asahis, you think you're invincible.
I'll be allright. I'm going to go shopping with the gals and get crunk. I'm also going to the beach again. Don't worry for me, I have a support group!
But you can still send me some support, it's always appreciated!



Talk to you soon,
Your friendly neighbourhood sPYderman

Ps: Canada is doing so good at the Olympics, I'm now cheerieng for Trinidad and Tobago, Sweden and NIPPON

Gone baby gone

Ohayo Gozaimas!
Et voilà, après plusieurs mois de préparation, plusieurs semaines de stress et quelques partys, je suis (enfin) arrivé. Je me retrouve maintenant à Tokyo, Shinjuku pour être plus précis, dans une ville qui n'a rien à envier aux autres grandes capitales. Tokyo, c'est un hybride de New York, de Vegas et de Bangkok, mais sur les stéréoides et l'acide. Je marchais dans les rues hier soir, en combattant le jetlag et l'excitation et mes amis me disait que j'avais l'air d'un enfant. J'étais vraiment dans un état second.
C'est le début d'une aventure, de quelque chose de très spécial. Des dizaines de personnes m'ont dit: ''On est fiers de toi''. Je le suis moi aussi, et j'espère vraiment que j'aurai la chance de vous promener dans les rues de Tokyo un jour. C'est un party pour les sens. C'est aussi, sur plusieurs aspects, le premier jour du reste de ma vie.
J'espère que vous allez aimer me lire, enjoy the ride.

I'm finally here, after weeks of stress, party and getting ready... Tokyo, Shinjuku to be precise, looks like nowhere else in the world. It's a mix of NY, Vegas and Bangkok, but on steroids and acid. I was walking in the streets yesterday, to fight jetlag and my irregular heartbeat, and my friends said I looked like a kid in a toystore. All your senses are tingling. It's something super special.
It's a new chapter for me. A lot of people told me they were proud of me. Well I am too! I just hope I'll have the privilege to show some of you around this place, because it's really really something else. This might be the first day of the rest of my life, so I'm happy (genki, in japanese) to share this with you.
I hope you'll enjoy reading me.
Sayonara

P-Y