Monday, June 22, 2009

Health check

I’ve heard many horror stories about city employee health tests and Daniel and I, we were kind of not happy to receive the news that we had to go get tested on June 22nd. Stories about impatient doctors with quick fingers and undressing with uncomfortable co-workers were plenty, so I would have liked to pass. But, being Daniel’s mentor (haha bitch!) I had to show the young one that it was indeed going to be all right, even if was pretty sure I’d get anal probed real quick! Well it was a really pleasant morning in fact. Got to confirm that I have good hearing and perfect vision (Take that heredity!) and my pee seemed to have a nice Ph. My pressure is good and I can still run with the best of them. I was smiling and happy. But when I got to the scale I went Oh-Oh… My 79.3 kilos on my 170.8 cm frame give me a 27.1 Body Mass Index. It’s not bad but I do fall in the ‘Overweight’ category. (On a side note, how bad is this BMI thing, who’s the idiot who invented that?)

The doctor assessing my results was talking to me about tattoos and all before he broke it to me. He scanned his head to find the best possible English to tell me the straight facts: ‘You… are a little fat’. Well what do you expect? You guys feed me rice and bread like there is no tomorrow. You take me out drinking all the time. You force feed me all this stuff and I try to sweat it out by biking every day, rain snow sleet tsunami doesn’t stop me. ‘A little fat?!?!’ Pff. We all gained weight here but I’m seriously out of solutions. A west coast cleansing diet maybe. What’s that you say? Stop eating bread? NEVER! Try telling Amy Winehouse to stop smoking crack! I’ll go on a salad diet maybe. I’m open to suggestions. My friends back home can call me Doughboy, it’s ok. My students telling me I’m ‘chotto metabolic’, it can fly. But this was the last time a Japanese doctor would tap me on the back before telling me I’m a little fat. I’ll start throwing up if I have to!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mohhaha, I love it. It's what traveling does to you! I mean... your crazy blueberry pancake with maple syrup breakfasts and stupid drinking did it to me in Canada. Churros and sangria did it to me in Spain....
It's just the downside of it. But hey, BMI sucks anyway- a muscular person will score pretty high on the BMI scale. :)

Angela said...

Your brother and I have one word(ok, a bunch of letters and numbers) for you: P90X

Angela said...

...and on an afterthought.
Heredity, schmerdity - you can't lose what you don't use. Imagine the bottle-bottom lenses you'd be sporting if you'd actually read the books with the small print ;)

-A-

PS According to BMI index, your brother is morbidly obese

Mom said...

C'est acile de dire que c'est la faute de la bouffe ou des autres.Quand tu me reverras tu pourra constater que je changes en faisant deux chose:bien manger et faire du sport(aquajogging,marche,golf)au moins deux fois semaine.Et ca marche...mais c'est difficile pour la garde-robe car tout est grand.Bises Mom

erikaa said...

PY!! theres animal lard in the bread :( thats why.