Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
So Japan, with its rich history and culture, is the perfect place for these people. Imagine visiting a country that was closed-off from the rest of the world for so long; everywhere I go, I can witness history. Sometimes I close my eyes and feel like a samurai in the 14th century:
- I visited temples with impressive architecture, some made of wood that is older than my own country.
- I visited remnants of the American bombings during the 2nd World war.
- I visited castles that once protected whole villages from other tribes.
- I visited mausoleums where entire families of samurais and nobles are buried.
Well I am lucky to have, in my own apartment, a piece of Japanese history. YES! I’m not kidding. Someday, I will start charging people to come and take a look at it. But it is a secret, do not tell anyone. It is so PRECIOUS, that some people have tried to steal pieces of it.
All right, I know you are dying to know what I’m talking about sooooo...
Well people, I give you: My shower.
This sorry excuse for a shower is really the most aggravating thing about my apartment. It’s a big apartment, a free apartment but LORD JESUS, I have NEVER seen such a crappy shower. The rumor says that Marco Polo once took a shower in there on his journey on the Silk route. To start it, I have to push a button and rotate it anti-clockwise. At the same time, I rotate another lever clockwise until the red gauge goes in the red matter (to make sure I have enough gas to heat up the water)..... Then, I have to turn and push two more buttons. Look, I’m not going to lie, it took me one month to start doing it without the paper telling me how to. It’s a really really bad shower and sometimes, I dream that my apartment catches fire and that I’m actually pleased because it means I can have a decent shower. I have seen better showers in CAMBODIA. I spent my entire winter naked, pushing and turning knobs (not my knob, of course) while freezing my ass off.
Sometimes, I wonder why on Earth I would want to live in this country for another year. Especially when I know my brother is probably taking a shower in a 10 jet, rain sensation shower that may or may not involve robots.
It’s just a really shit shower. Thank you, I feel better now.
Monday, April 6, 2009
So now that I am sitting at my desk and my liver is failing me, I feel it is my duty to tell you about a Japanese custom. When having dinner or parties, you cannot, under no circumstances, fill up your own drink. EVER. Usually, if the people sitting next to you are efficient, your glass will always be full. You need to be a good neighbour too. I have developed a sixth sense, I scope the table and look for glasses that are less than 70% full and BAM, I get up and serve people like a trained waiter. And when I get back to my place, my drink is full too. It’s a great system because it gets the party going and it’s super-polite. But also, it’s a bad system because you can be responsible for getting people drunk. My co-worker was sleeping before the end of the party because of my efficient service, and when he woke up, he looked like a cooked lobster with really really blood-shut eyes.
This is the conversation we had in japanese:
‘Are you alright?’
‘Pierre-sensei, you made me drunk’
‘Well I was just being Japanese’
‘Well maybe you should be more Chinese (?!?! I don’t get it, drunk talk, he was laughing)
‘...hmm... ok. You want another drink buddy?’
And he fell asleep again... I win