Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Night Vision

Fall is a great season. In Quebec, as well as in Japan, you can witness a real spectacle when the trees start turning into 3D works of art. Red, yellow, brown, green… The sound of dead leaves crushed by the sole of your shoes is like music to my ears… The cold nights where you can enjoy the warmth of your bed with the window open. Watching hockey with your friends. Unfortunately, the fall also has its down sides. In Quebec, you can witness the people getting ready for winter. As soon as Halloween is finished, you can see Santas and Rudolphs on many lawns of the south shore. But the most annoying thing is the shortness of the day. The suicide rate hikes up in these dark months and I can understand why. It’s depressing to come home from school or work under the street lights. You sometimes start contemplating which street light you should pick to install your rope and hang yourself (don’t worry I’m not gonna hang myself people). Unfortunately, my school (well it’s actually 100% of the schools) is too poor to get lights so I could fully enjoy my second job: soccer coach. Japan doesn’t believe in changing the time twice a year. So it’s dark at 4:45 (That’s today, December should be closer to 4). You would think that they would stop playing soccer but no. I play soccer in the dark.

I’ve been in hostile conditions in my 20 year soccer career. I’ve played soccer in PEI with winds strong enough to make a baby fly. I’ve played in snow in Québec city. I’ve played in hail, during floods. I’ve played in front of hostile crowds waiting for me off the field. But seriously, playing in the dark is the dumbest thing. For an hour I chase an orange ball that ceases to exist as soon as it’s 10 meters away from me. Then it reappears and I start running around with it and then it disappears again. I was sure my night vision was getting better and better everyday… until today. I just got hit by that stupid orange ball right in the nose and got my first nosebleed in… forever. So I came back to my desk and Ms. Nakamura laughed at me and I told her that the first thing I will buy when I win a million dollars is lights for the soccer field. Clever as she is (she’s a clever one) she asked me: 'But Pierru, what will you do if you don’t win a million dollars?' (I told you she was clever)
So I told her… (In a performance that would have won a world championship of Guess-tures) 'I’ll just buy one light and hang myself from it'
She almost choked on her coffee... always have the last word people. It’s the first rule of life.

14 comments:

Thunderstorm said...

Nice story P Pourquoi! Cette histoire éveille le psychologue en moi...

Anonymous said...

C,est un de tes bons blogs...humour,poésie et un punch...décapant
Je t'embrasse
ton père

Anonymous said...

c fort sérieux bro, t'as vraiment du talent pour écrire c clair!...
lache pas ma biche. Jee

P-Y said...

Merci à tous de me lire. C'est très apprécié

Julie said...

P-Y, pense déjà à 13 épisodes de 22 minutes 50 secondes, pour je sais pas...V (Feu TQS)!?! :)
Garde précieusement tous tes écrits, t'as un beau talent! xx

Angela said...

Big au niveau des terrains hostiles, tu as oublié de parler de celui du 11770 Alfred à MTL-Nord... peut-être que ta mémoire sélective essai encore d'oublier le lieu ou tu te faisait rosser avec ton petit ami Étienne.

Va t'accrocher sur ton lampadaire en pensant à cela.

Ton frère qui t'aime et qui s'ennui de toi en maudit.

JS

Nick said...

There are different types of night vision equipment - night vision goggles, ITT night vision, thermal night vision, night vision binoculars and monoculars, and night vision digital cameras. With suitable night vision equipment, one can see a person standing over 200 feet away in complete darkness.

Stephane.G said...

vraiment cool ton blogue.....merci d'avoir poste le lien sur Hetu

Angela said...

...were you visually impaired or just impaired?

-A-

Anonymous said...

Si tu es le seul visible tu sera une cible parfaite pour l'équipe adverse.Ou as-tu appris qu'il est important d'avoir le dernier mot?Bises Mom

Caro said...

Et les daltoniens dans tout ça...? Orange is big... and so are you!
luv y'a
Caro xxx

Electromah said...

Night vision: a Daft Punk song! Yes sir big! Daft Punk rules!

Jammers said...

Oh yeah, this is awesome. Would love to buy one. I wish I could afford one.

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